


when she kisses me

by therestisdrag



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Awkward Trixie Mattel, Best Friends, Cis Katya Zamolodchikova, Cis Trixie Mattel, F/F, Idiots in Love, Lesbian Katya Zamolodchikova, One Shot, Sad Trixie Mattel, Short One Shot, Trixie is dumb, Useless Lesbians, katya is dumber, side violet chachki/katya zamo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24659197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therestisdrag/pseuds/therestisdrag
Summary: (ONESHOT) Some Trixya teen fluff, Trixie is in love with Katya and Katya is oblivious.
Relationships: Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	when she kisses me

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this based on two songs: "She" (by Dodie), and "When You Kiss Me" (by Mags Durval). This is my first fic, I'm nervous.

Trixie woke up and it took her a few seconds to get used to the feeling. The golden curls didn’t look like her own, her skin touching the mattress didn’t bring her any kind of comfort, all of her members seemed to float, her mind belonged to a parallel universe. And then it hit her all at once, when she saw the polaroid picture of her with her best friend glued to the bed frame. She snapped out of the transition feeling between her bedroom’s safety and the actual world outside her windows. The pain in her chest came back to the way it felt the night before. No, it didn’t. It came back worse.

  
Katya. Katya’s image made her way to her thoughts, her face vivid and real.

_The night before_

  
-Trix, you have to try this!

  
Long and thin fingers embraced Trixie’s wrist in a friendly way, shaking her entire arm while the fingers’ owner talked her into trying some gross cheap peach flavored vodka. The kitchen they were in was crowded with desperate teenagers looking forward to getting as drunk as possible with anything containing alcohol found in the fridge. It was a nice warm Thursday night, a day before summer vacation would begin. Loud music was pounding through all windows of the small house.

  
-C’mon, Kat, you know I hate drinking, specially these weird fucking things you get in God knows where.

  
-This one’s really good, I swear!

  
Trixie sighs, knowing there’s no way she’s winning this battle. She never won. Or she never wanted to win, she wanted to see Katya’s little and nowhere near discreet victory’s celebration. Katya was one of a kind. She was stubborn but not in an irritating way, she always knew what she wanted. A week before the party she decided she wanted bangs. It took a thirty minutes period of time between the text she sent to Trixie telling she needed to do it and actually doing it. The bangs were a total mess, just like anything related to Katya. She could literally walk in a complete goth look in a baptism, no one, specially Trixie, would mind. Afterall, she was just so nice to look at. Crazily blue, almost gray, eyes, short blonde hair, a as big as humanly possible smile, a tiny thin but muscular body (she could not stand still, she was always engaged to some sort of physical exercise).

-Okay…- Trixie took the cup from Katya’s hand and brought to her lips, immediately making a face of disgust, trying to find the nearest sink to spit the liquid inside her mouth. She coughs a few times and look at her friend, who’s laughing in her signature smoker-loud-wheeze way. -Remember me of never accepting anything from you again, Jesus Christ. I’ll stick with my apple juice, you weirdo.

-You had to see your face! – Katya says, still laughing. -Well, you have no taste, that’s not new. I was just trying to increment your life with what the exquisite market down the street has to offer.

-In first place, that thing can’t even be called a market, and-

Trixie’s speech was interrupted by a gorgeous ebony haired girl who approached them. She knew well who the girl was- Violet Chachki. The tiniest waist ever and the model body could never be mistaken. Violet was the most recent of Katya’s hookups, and both girls seemed to enjoy anything that was going on between them. Trixie didn’t exactly like her. Well, she had no reason not to. Besides a resting bitch face, she was a sweetheart. Always. It got on Trixie’s nerves.

-Hey, girls! What’s up?

-Hey, baby! We’re good, what about you? Enjoying the party? – Katya responded in a flirtatious way. She just… had a way with girls. Trixie’s never seen a girl say no to Katya. Everyone knew her name and would never dare to deny an opportunity to kiss her talk of the town lips, what could they do? How she could still stay humble with this reputation, it was a mystery.

-Yeah, Adore throws the best ones! – Violet says grinning and kind of shy. – Hey, Trixie, can I steal her from you just for a little bit?

Trixie was pretending to check her nails and looks up, surprised. She wasn’t paying attention to them talking once she knew what it was gonna be about and she was most probably gonna stand there awkward between the thick sexual tension.

-What? Oh, yeah, yeah… Of course!

Before she left, she forced a sympathetic smile to Katya. Katya winks at her, a silent way to say ‘thanks’, she thought. In a few seconds, the two were holding hands and walking up the stairs clearly giggling and excited.

  
-

  
Trixie spent the next hour sitting on a swing, talking to some people from school, dancing and trying to protect herself from getting upset because of Katya’s new girl. She knew it wasn’t right to feel that way, all they had was a friendship with benefits. When both of them were alone at a party, they would make out and Trixie would wake up in Katya’s bed most of these times. This was one of these days when they agreed with no words to get alone in some room later, until Violet appeared out of nowhere.

Trixie had been with a few boys and girls in her life and Katya… well, Katya had been with almost everyone she knew. She definitely preferred girls, but when she was horny drunk, anyone would do.

It was fun when it started. They would sneak out of the classroom after a brief text message from Katya just saying ‘I’m bored. Bathroom. Now.’. Trixie would just laugh at how easily her friend lost interest at school, get up and give any excuse to the teacher to leave. Then, the girls would meet at the bathroom and walk together to the yard, lay on the grass, talk about anything and nothing. Katya would tell stories, try to convince Trixie about the most absurd conspiration theories, Trixie would update her about the songs she was writing, and eventually they would kiss.

They came to learn the way each other liked to be kissed and touched, so by now Trixie knew every feature of Katya’s body, every curve, and every sensible spot. She knew the smell of her lemongrass shampoo, and the smell of when she had no perfume on and had just woken up. Everything Violet was about to discover. She could write an entire essay about all Katya’s interests, qualities, flaws… and, unfortunately, about how it ached to look at her and knowing she would never get the best of her. The pain, however, would feel oddly good when she was in Katya’s arms, when they were alone, and it felt like no other human being existed out there.

She didn’t know exactly when she started to look at Katya like that or when kissing her started to feel like heaven. She shouldn’t, she knew her friend’s unstable mind very well and knew that’s all Katya could give her, once she was one to go out with someone knew every couple of weeks, have fun and be ridiculously free. She belonged to nobody, nowhere, she knew that. Besides that, none of them was looking for a solid relationship, they loved to go out, party, and explore all there is to see. But Trixie discovered she liked to explore things with Katya, and she felt alone when she wasn’t by her side. She had never felt that before, she was friends with plenty of other people from school. It took some resistance for her to assume she didn’t want only Katya’s friendship. Of course, she would never tell that to anyone, but it was more than clear in her mind.

Trixie didn’t notice how lost she was inside her own head when she heard Adore yelling:

-WHO WANTS CAKE?

She got up from the swing and followed people inside the house. They were all reunited around a table and it was a total drunk mess. They sang ‘happy birthday’, Adore blew out the eighteen candles on the top of the cake and someone said out loud from across the room:

-Make a wish!

Trixie recognized the voice instantly and looked at the familiar blue eyes. They met with her brown ones and Katya smiled, still laughing at something Violet said. Oh my God, this smile meant everything to her. She meant everything to her. At this moment, she wished Katya had never kissed her or made Trixie melt in her mouth. She wished so bad she didn’t feel far away from her even when they were close, like there was something she would never reach. It was her own fault, she did this to herself, she knew the risks and she knew who she was dealing with. Anyway, it seemed like a no turning back thing. She tried to convince herself she was okay with admiring from afar, but she wasn’t.

Katya got her by surprise approaching her from behind. Trixie jumped and rolled her eyes in a playful way when she saw who it was.

-I swear to God I’m gonna kill you some day!

-Only if I don’t kill you first… I know a bunch of techniques, you wouldn’t even realize what I was doing. You would wake up in front of heaven’s door, and I would be tickling your feet from under the ground, because I would not survive without you and we both know I’ll go to hell when I die, and oh, you would never get peace even there

-You weirdo… - Trixie didn’t know what else to say. Usually, they would enter in an endless conversation and give each other those lovely insults, but the taller blonde wasn’t in the mood, she was still inside her head.

-Hey, what’s wrong? You never give in when reading me is the subject. – Katya looked at her with worried eyes and touched her arm gently.

-It’s nothing, I’m just really tired. I was thinking of going home.

-I’ll take you home, relax. I’ll just grab a piece of cake… well, two, one for me and one for you, I know you would never reject cake – she smiled and tried to make the girl laugh.

-You don’t need to, really! I don’t wanna ruin your party.

-What the hell are you talking about? I always drive you home, it won’t be different this time. Don’t move, I’ll just grab my things and then we’re going, okay?

Trixie didn’t have time to answer, Katya rushed to do what she said.

  
-

  
The ride home was quiet. They ate the pieces of cake in silence and Katya could almost listen to what the other girl was thinking. Once they pulled over in front of Trixie’s house, Katya put her hand on the blonde’s arm before she got to leave the car.

-You’re not telling me, right?

-Kat, I told you, I’m just tired… - she responded with a sigh.

-And I don’t believe you. But fine, if you’re not telling me, I’m telling you something.

Trixie gave up and turned her body in the seat to face her friend and listen to whatever she was about to say.

-Well, you know I never got attached to anyone. But now like… some weeks ago I noticed a weird feeling inside of me, as if my heart was being squeezed by a lot of baby aliens and was gonna explode or something, and I thought ‘oh God, I’m having a heart attack for sure, I need to warn Trix to get my funeral ready and invite all of the people and shit’.

-Katya, you’re rambling.

-Yeah, sorry. You’re right. Anyway, I realized I was not a victim of an early death and instead of baby aliens, a girl is responsible for this feeling.

-Oh… - ‘Violet’, Trixie thought. Her heart sunk in her chest and she felt like vomiting.

-Yeah, and since I tell you everything, I thought of telling this too. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with all of that, nor if I’m gonna do something. Maybe I’ll ask her out, I really have no idea, I’m new in this love scenario. – Katya let out a breath as if she just put the weight on her shoulders somewhere else and now was free.

-Well, I’m happy for you, Kat… Any girl will be lucky to have you, and you should try asking her out, definitely – Trixie was panicking and felt pathetically alone again. She felt like running inside her bedroom and not leaving until next year or getting on a plane and moving to Mexico to forget her and Katya were just friends.

She didn’t notice how much time passed since her speech and Katya was now looking at her in a funny and confused way.

-You there?

-What? Yeah… Well, I should get inside. Thank you for driving me home. – Trixie said, snapping out of her thoughts.

-Hey, come here. – Katya opened her arms to invite her friend for a hug. Trixie accepted and buried her face in the smell she so well knew. When she looked up, Katya was smiling at her. She smiled back, still trying to get out of her head. – Gimme a kiss.

Trixie rolled her eyes and they giggled. By now, it was kind of a tradition between them saying goodbye with a peck on the lips. She leaned in and kissed the red lipstick mouth she thought about so much. What was only supposed to be a peck was lasting longer then expected and here Trixie was, melting in her kiss all over again, feeling the excitement she never got used to. Their tongues met in a mix of apple juice, peach vodka and birthday cake taste like they existed to move together.

The girls part the kiss and look at each other Trixie chuckle and speak up.

-Well… Now I really gotta get going. Thank you again, and good luck with the girl. Actually, good luck to the girl who will have to put up with you shit.

They giggle and finally Trixie get out of the car.

  
-

  
_Present moment_

Trixie got up and went straight to the shower. After dressing up and taking a pill for the annoying headache she had, she got her phone, updated all her social medias and read her messages. While she was walking down the stairs and heading to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, she almost missed a step. Her stomach started to flip, she felt like she was going to throw up and her heart would come out of her mouth. An unread text from Katya appeared on her notifications.

Katya: Hey! I hope u slept well, and I hope I didn’t make things weird last night. Anyway, if I did, I’m about to do it again. I shouldn’t be doing this by message, but u deserve to know that the girl I was talking about when I described my feelings for her is u…


End file.
